[tantek][KevinMarks] makes me wonder if it would help if I defined specific conformance classes in the rel-me, i.e. a "publisher" implementation class for add rel=me to links to people's websites/other profiles in their profile on a site, and a "verifier" implementation class, that would load a link to another profile and check it to see if it linked back with rel=me.
[KevinMarks]Interesting - verify-me kindof does that, but maybe the iconography is wrong. It does red X for published but not reciprocated, and Green tick for both. That's a bit off putting if you're the page with unreciprocared links.